A Mom blog
This morning I caught Rae trying to put my contact lens in her eye. She was blinking repeatedly, tears streaming down her face, looking at the little clear lens that just would NOT stay in! I said, “Whacha doin’ Rae?” Her reply: “Just puttin’ in my contacts, Mom.”
I said, “You don’t wear contacts, honey. You have good eyes–not like Mommy.”
That answer seemed to make sense, so she said simply, “Oh.”
(Luckily, the lens was not damaged and after a good cleaning, I put it in MY eye!)
Rae copies everything I do. If you keep up with the blog, you know that she recently wore a maxi pad (see “I’m so not Ready for Puberty“) but she’s also recently tried to get dinner out of the oven (using oven mitts, of course), get the baby out of her crib, drink my coffee, pour milk on her cereal, and put on my deodorant. She also has to copy whatever I’m wearing. If I have on “exercise” clothes, she’ll go put on a tank top and sweatpants. If I put on jeans and a long-sleeve shirt to start the day, she’ll look down at her pjs and run to change into…jeans and a long-sleeve shirt.
She also tries to emulate me in conversation. She’s recently started asking everyone “How are you doing?” And when daddy gets home she always asks, “How was work, daddy?”
I know that she watches me. I know that she tries to be like me. But I have so many fears that I won’t measure up. I desperately want to be a woman she looks up to, a woman who’s worthy of her respect. I want to be a velvet-over-steel, wisdom-filled, gracious beacon of love for my two beautiful girls. I can only pray that as they follow me and copy my hand gestures, and my interactions, that they’ll also learn to emulate my heart. I hope they can overlook my temper, my OCD habits, my quick tongue, and my fear of bugs, and instead, acquire my love for the Lord, my thirst for truth, and my heart for others. And if they happen to copy my fashion sense, well–I’m sure they’ll end up wearing contacts of their own.